A while back, I wrote about having ADD. I have been off medication for a while now, since before I had Bryson. Lately, especially since I completly have my body to myself, I have been considering talking to my Dr. about taking medication again. I have honestly forgotten what it feels like to be in focus, not in a cloud, and able to finish a task, any task without ditractions. The time is right. I have two kids now, all the more reason for some help. Recently, it took me 3 hours to clean out the dishwasher and the longer it took me the more anxiety I felt about it. I would put one dish away and turn to take shoes to my closet or pick up a toy to put away or check my email, only to walk back to the kitchen and be frustrated that the job was left undone. I would think to myself, "GOLLY HOLLY! This is not hard, just one dish and then the next, FOCUS!" This went on all morning. So frustrating.
I made an appointment with my primary care. I went over my script in my head for days and days about what I wanted to say. For example: I feel like I am in a fog, I am unable to complete tasks before moving to the next. I have been unable to read and finish a book for the longest time. I am forgetful, frustrated, and have anxiety. I find myself checking email all day long or eating, because those are tasks that require NO thought whatsoever. It is a way to shut out all the out of focus feelings I have.
Did I say ANY of that to my Dr? Of course not. I didn't write them down. Instead, she asked me what my symptoms were and I couldn't answer her in a cohesive thought. All my words came out in a jumbled mess. I felt so dumb! I am no stranger to this feeling, but it is never a fun way to feel. All in all, I was an absolute "Poster Child" for Adult ADD. If she couldn't tell I had ADD, then she shouldn't be in medicine. She prescribe ritalin 15mg to start.
Today is the first day on my medication. I hope to keep an online journal of my journey as a mommy being medicated for Adult ADD.
I could hardly wait to take my first dose this morning. I took my pills at 7:30 and proceded to get ready for the day. I got Bryson off to school came home and got several chores done. COMPLETED without bouncing from chore to chore. I even had time to spare before I needed to leave again. My head feels clear...it is amazing.
As I am typing this now, I do have a bit of a headache...I am going to take some Ibuprophin and see how that goes. I am hopeful, prayerful, and excited to be the best wife/mommy I can be. We shall see how it all unfolds.