Monday, March 10, 2008

It is all about Self Control

You may recall that we have experienced a miracle with our son, Bryson. I had gotten at the end of my rope with him, and I didn't know what to do. He was so demanding, controlling, whinny and just down right out of control. I didn't know what to do except to PRAY. Well, back in November, God touched Bryson and through nothing short of a miracle, Bryson was able to gain some self-control. Our prayers were answered. (That is the short of the long story).

It is amazing the transformation that has taken place in his heart. At 22 months, he is able to gain the self control he needs when cannot or may not control his surroundings. It is truly amazing to me and I give God all the honor and glory for it.

Here is an example of our discipline tactic:

Bryson does not get his way right away ie. food not fast enough, time to put a way a toy, impatiently waiting for anything. . .

1) I instruct him to sit in a spot (not always the same spot, we don't have a designated "naughty chair" because I want this to work for us outside the home.)

2) I look him in the eye and tell him "Bryson, you need to gain self-control, when you gain self control, you may get up. (Typically he is throwing a tantrum at this point.)

3) I walk away. Unbelievably he will continue sitting in that spot.

4) He will cry for usually less than a minute but upwards of 4-5 minutes sometimes until the crying stops.

5) I praise him for gaining self-control and ask for a hug and instruct him to apologize. (Sometimes he uses sign language to sign "sorry" all by himself without prompting. Other times. I prompt for an apology.

This method has been working since November for us, and usually we only have one episode like this a day. I have had some people look at me like I am crazy when I use the word "self-control" to a 22 month old. But, I say to that: "why not?" God wants us to have patience and self control among other fruits of the spirit. (Galatians 5:22-23). I think having patience and and self control leads to having love joy and peace. Proverbs 16:32 says Better to be patient than powerful: better to have self-control than to conquer a city.

At church yesterday, Kerri Weems our pastor's wife spoke about Samson and during the sermon she said something that just confirmed for me that Adam and I are doing what is right for Bryson. She said, "It is better to have self-control, than to have control over the situation." We are teaching Bryson to have control of himself even when he cannot control the situation. He is not always going to get to do what he wants when he wants. That is a fact of life. Pray with us that we can continue to raise Bryson to be the man God wants him to be.

1 comment:

Seth and Sarah said...

Great post, my friend. You are lovingly being consistent...something I have also found to work the best with my boys. Correcting a behavior, even when you don't feel like doing it ANOTHER totally pays off!
You're a good mama =)