Friday, January 28, 2011

A Never Ending Job



In our house, we seem to have cycles of behavior. We can be rolling along and all is sunshine and rainbows, until...we have one bad day in a week. We brush it off as "everyone has a bad day now and again." One day a week turns into two and before we know it, we don't even like hanging out with our own son. Yes, you heard me. I don't like hanging out with my own son. Shocking, I know. You wouldn't like hanging out with him either, trust me. Simple tasks such as, "Go put on your sock and shoes." turns into SO MUCH MORE! Tantrums and screaming and throwing of items, hitting and furrowed brows followed up with "YOU ARE SUCH A MEAN MOMMY I AM NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!" Those words sting. I ain't gonna lie.

Let's back up shall we?

So my oldest boy (4 1/2) is sweet and kind and loving and has the cutest dimples south of the Mason Dixon. But, boy oh boy, he's got spunk!

Like I said, we were rolling along and all was wonderful with the world. Bryson was happy and content and loved working quietly in his room. I would send him to his room occasionally for quiet time and ask him to "read books in your room." He would come back and say, "well, I would really like to (insert a different quiet activity here.)" I would usually let him, "fine," I would say, "that is another quiet activity, have at it!" Or, I would say, "we are having cereal for breakfast," and he would come back with, "I really want oatmeal." I would say, "time to brush your teeth," and he would respond with, "but I am just going to finish this puzzle."

Do you see what was happening? I was letting him make appeals. Appeals are all well and good for the most part, except when the appeals start causing conflict. He was starting to appeal everything, EVERYTHING. Having the option to make an appeal comes with the understanding that sometimes my answer will be "NO, you need to do what I am asking right now." First time obedience. If he can handle obeying the first time and understanding that his appeal was rejected and continue on as normal, he can continue on making appeals.

That was not happening in our home. He was starting to think he was boss. "UM, not so fast there tiger!"

His teacher had been telling me about time outs at school. EVERYDAY. He was throwing tantrums. EVERYDAY. Something had to give. I was tired. Adam was tired. A change had to be made.

And then it happened. He lost it one day this week 15 minutes before he needed to leave for school. All out crazy tantrum. Lunch was packed, he was completely dressed. All because I asked him to brush his teeth. WHEW. I decided right there and then that TODAY WAS THE DAY. I called his ride to school and told her to skip our house today. Today was going to be "DAY 'O DISCIPLINE." I just wouldn't have been able to accomplish what I wanted with him in 15 minutes and I sure didn't want to wait til after school.

Tune in tomorrow, to hear how this day went down...

2 comments:

Christa said...

Can't wait to hear.

A Little R&R said...

Thanks for popping over from WLW. I totally hear you about asking for the TV. Mine was doing that earlier this week....and that's when "redirection" became the rule of thumb. :)

Ohhhh - sounding like our house right now - except mine is 18 months old. :( Ugh!